Today in the cafeteria at work, I was getting soup, which until today, I thought was a fairly innocent task!
These 3 older men, easily in their 60s, were walking into the cafeteria the same time that I was, and perused the selection, then came up right behind me and started talking:
"soup looks good today huh"
"I love the selection here"
"Perfect day to enjoy some soup"
Seriously? you guys are old enough to be my grandfathers!! and to pre-empt your question - NO I WILL NOT SIT ON YOUR LAP!
After lunch I thought I would need a shower... I still shudder at the thought, sick bastards...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Another drunk mis-dial
Lesson: 911 is not a taxi service
The Associated Press
Published: April 26, 2010
NEW HAVEN, Conn.—Police in New Haven said a 28-year-old woman who called 911 six times to request a ride home from a nightclub over the weekend instead got a ride to jail.
They said Quandria Bailey was released on $1,000 bail and has to go to court on May 5 to answer charges she misused the 911 system.
Officials said Bailey call 911 six times asking for a ride from a New Haven nightclub to her home in Meriden.
A telephone number for Bailey could not immediately be located Sunday, and it was unclear whether she had an attorney.
http://www2.turnto10.com/jar/news/local/article/lesson_911_is_not_a_taxi_service/35685/
This could not be made up.... it's too dumb....
The Associated Press
Published: April 26, 2010
NEW HAVEN, Conn.—Police in New Haven said a 28-year-old woman who called 911 six times to request a ride home from a nightclub over the weekend instead got a ride to jail.
They said Quandria Bailey was released on $1,000 bail and has to go to court on May 5 to answer charges she misused the 911 system.
Officials said Bailey call 911 six times asking for a ride from a New Haven nightclub to her home in Meriden.
A telephone number for Bailey could not immediately be located Sunday, and it was unclear whether she had an attorney.
http://www2.turnto10.com/jar/news/local/article/lesson_911_is_not_a_taxi_service/35685/
This could not be made up.... it's too dumb....
Monday, April 12, 2010
By the side of the road?
So while driving down the highway this past Saturday afternoon (around 2pm for reference) there was a police car with flashing lights, and as I got closer, saw the trooper had an SUV pulled over. The funniest part was he was giving the lady a sobriety test!! And she fell down just as I was diving by!
It takes a special individual to get that drunk on a Saturday morning without a college football game to tailgate for...
It takes a special individual to get that drunk on a Saturday morning without a college football game to tailgate for...
Friday, April 9, 2010
Drunken Trouble
Another drunk idiot story... this is a stretch even when you're not in the right mind!! Out of all the people in the WORLD to call, what would make you choose the 911 operator to drunk dial - don't most people call their exes or friends?
Mich. police: Drunken driver called 911 on herself
Posted 3/27/2010 2:25 AM
EAST LANSING, Mich. (AP) — Police in Michigan have released a copy of a 911 call where a suspected drunken driver chats with an emergency dispatcher for about 20 minutes before she is pulled over and arrested.
In the first moments of the March 13 call, the dispatcher asks: "Are you intoxicated?" and the woman replies: "Absolutely." The dispatcher pleads with the woman to pull over and the driver tells the dispatcher she "shouldn't be driving."
The dispatcher helped officers find the driver in East Lansing.
Police say the 27-year-old Charlotte resident placed the call at 5:40 a.m. The woman was issued a citation for operating while intoxicated and faces up to 90 days in jail. Her name hasn't been released.
Police released the call Friday to The Associated Press under a Freedom of Information Act request.
Mich. police: Drunken driver called 911 on herself
Posted 3/27/2010 2:25 AM
EAST LANSING, Mich. (AP) — Police in Michigan have released a copy of a 911 call where a suspected drunken driver chats with an emergency dispatcher for about 20 minutes before she is pulled over and arrested.
In the first moments of the March 13 call, the dispatcher asks: "Are you intoxicated?" and the woman replies: "Absolutely." The dispatcher pleads with the woman to pull over and the driver tells the dispatcher she "shouldn't be driving."
The dispatcher helped officers find the driver in East Lansing.
Police say the 27-year-old Charlotte resident placed the call at 5:40 a.m. The woman was issued a citation for operating while intoxicated and faces up to 90 days in jail. Her name hasn't been released.
Police released the call Friday to The Associated Press under a Freedom of Information Act request.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Dumb drunken night...
While at dinner with a friend, she asks me if she told me about the time she lost her car; this is always a good start to a story, don't you think?
She tells me that she was out a few weeks ago for her friend's boyfriend's 30th birthday party at some bar, and she had a "few" drinks. After that she had to go meet some other people at another bar, so drove to the other bar but instead of parking, because she was only going to be in there for a minute, she left her car RUNNING - on one of the main streets - DOWNTOWN!!
Apparently one thing led to another and she ended up staying longer than she intended to at the bar, and had a few more drinks than she had planned, and in turn forgot where she parked her car... but she couldn't call anyone because she left her phone in her running car somewhere in the city, along with her pocketbook, which was sitting on the front seat in plain view, and let's not forget her work laptop that was in the back seat...
But the story gets better! While walking around and looking for her car, she encounters two very nice gentleman staying at one of the hotels in the area who take pity on her and invite her back to their room so she's not wandering the streets drunk and alone and say they will help her find her car in the morning... while the gesture was very nice, does anyone think this is a bright move?!
So in the morning, she calls her parents' house to have one of them come pick her up and they tell her "is there a reason that the police are here looking for you?" From what I understand, the police found her car early in the morning, found the registration and went to the house to find out what had happened to the driver of the car that had been left out running all night. The officers told her where she could find her car and there was another policeman there to ask her some questions.
When all was said and done, she had left her car running ALL night, came back 9-10 hours later, not only was her car still there, but her phone, pocketbook and laptop were all UNTOUCHED in her car when she finally got back to it... I'm sorry but there has to be an ARMY of angels looking out for you to come out of that one unscathed...
And again, I have to ask myself WHO DOES THAT??!!??
She tells me that she was out a few weeks ago for her friend's boyfriend's 30th birthday party at some bar, and she had a "few" drinks. After that she had to go meet some other people at another bar, so drove to the other bar but instead of parking, because she was only going to be in there for a minute, she left her car RUNNING - on one of the main streets - DOWNTOWN!!
Apparently one thing led to another and she ended up staying longer than she intended to at the bar, and had a few more drinks than she had planned, and in turn forgot where she parked her car... but she couldn't call anyone because she left her phone in her running car somewhere in the city, along with her pocketbook, which was sitting on the front seat in plain view, and let's not forget her work laptop that was in the back seat...
But the story gets better! While walking around and looking for her car, she encounters two very nice gentleman staying at one of the hotels in the area who take pity on her and invite her back to their room so she's not wandering the streets drunk and alone and say they will help her find her car in the morning... while the gesture was very nice, does anyone think this is a bright move?!
So in the morning, she calls her parents' house to have one of them come pick her up and they tell her "is there a reason that the police are here looking for you?" From what I understand, the police found her car early in the morning, found the registration and went to the house to find out what had happened to the driver of the car that had been left out running all night. The officers told her where she could find her car and there was another policeman there to ask her some questions.
When all was said and done, she had left her car running ALL night, came back 9-10 hours later, not only was her car still there, but her phone, pocketbook and laptop were all UNTOUCHED in her car when she finally got back to it... I'm sorry but there has to be an ARMY of angels looking out for you to come out of that one unscathed...
And again, I have to ask myself WHO DOES THAT??!!??
Eager much?
Ok... here is the short version, get this. Boy meets girl; boy asks girl out; boy blows girl off for first date with a lame excuse; boy continues to text girl but doesn't ask for another date; boy sends girl a text using her first name and HIS last name!!!
Whoa! Hold up here... are you kidding me? These two haven't even been out on a date yet! And he's giving her his last name?? Isn't that just a tad pre-mature??!!
Who does that?!?!
Whoa! Hold up here... are you kidding me? These two haven't even been out on a date yet! And he's giving her his last name?? Isn't that just a tad pre-mature??!!
Who does that?!?!
Friday, April 2, 2010
There are no words...
This is an actual article... normally I would put my thoughts, but honestly, there are no words... enjoy reading:
Florida Keys News - Key West Citizen
Friday, March 5, 2010
FHP: Driver lacked razor-sharp focus
BY ADAM LINHARDT Citizen Staff
As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.
Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.
"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."
If that weren't enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.
The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months' probation.
Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.
Schoff had slowed to about 5 mph to make a turn when the Thunderbird hit him, traveling about 45 mph, which was within the speed limit, Dunick said.
Barnes allegedly drove another half-mile, then switched seats with Judy, who allegedly claimed to be driving, Annunziato said.
"She jumps in the back seat and he moves over," Dunick said. "It was like the old comedy bit, 'Who's on first?' "
Burns on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy, he said.
Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.
Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.
"My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there's a funny side to this, but it's also deadly serious. This is a scary road and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this," Dunick said. "It is unbelievable. I'm really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys."
Florida Keys News - Key West Citizen
Friday, March 5, 2010
FHP: Driver lacked razor-sharp focus
BY ADAM LINHARDT Citizen Staff
As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.
Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.
"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."
If that weren't enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.
The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months' probation.
Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.
Schoff had slowed to about 5 mph to make a turn when the Thunderbird hit him, traveling about 45 mph, which was within the speed limit, Dunick said.
Barnes allegedly drove another half-mile, then switched seats with Judy, who allegedly claimed to be driving, Annunziato said.
"She jumps in the back seat and he moves over," Dunick said. "It was like the old comedy bit, 'Who's on first?' "
Burns on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy, he said.
Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.
Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.
"My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there's a funny side to this, but it's also deadly serious. This is a scary road and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this," Dunick said. "It is unbelievable. I'm really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys."
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