Sleeping beauty?

When did we start becoming so suit-happy?

Ferndale woman suing after she fell asleep on plane
Thu May 27, 12:30 pm ET
By Janelle Long, WXYZ

A woman from Ferndale, Mich. is suing United Airlines after she was left alone on a plane for hours after it had landed.

Ginger McGuire was aboard a United Express flight from Washington, DC to Philadelphia. She says she fell asleep during the flight. It landed shortly after midnight Tuesday but no one woke her up until a cleaning crew found her four hours later.

United Airlines says they are working with a regional partner carrier to determine why the plane wasn't cleared upon landing.

McGuire told reporters, "I fell asleep on the plane and next thing you know I wake up, it's 4:00 in the morning. Nobody's on the plane. Nothing."

McGuire has hired Geoffrey Fieger who is filing a lawsuit for false imprisonment, emotional distress and negligence.

This is the silliest piece of national news I have read in a while... this woman is blaming the flight attendants for not waking her up? Reading the comments posted about the article, one person made the very accurate point that it's not like she is 6 years old - she is an adult! When did people stop taking responsibility for their own lives?? When did it become accpetable behavior?? Who does this?!?

Impatient much?

WOW - someone really wanted a 4-day weekend...

Vandals hit Attleboro school buses
NBC 10 News
Published: May 28, 2010

Buses were vandalized overnight at Attleboro High School. The superintendent told NBC 10 that the bus manager arrived Friday morning and found 21 buses with tires deflated.

They had to discontinue bus service Friday morning but said they will have bus service in the afternoon.

Police are investigating the incident.

Office Pranks

http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Family-Lifestyle/Work/10-Outrageous-Office-Pranks.html

I'm sorry, but people have WAY too much time on their hands... still funny, but who does this??

Time to break up!

On my morning radio show they have a segment where people call in and share what is going on in their lives. This particular one was a woman telling a story about a phone call she received...

The woman was working at the Humane Society in the Midwest somewhere (I believe Indiana, but I am not sure and it frankly doesn't matter) and received a phone call with the question "is it illegal for humans to have sex with animals" and of course the answer she gave was yes. The gentleman on the other end of the phone sounded very uneasy when he said "that's what I thought, so what do you do if you know of a situation like that?" Rightly so, the woman said she was flabbergasted (when recounting the story on the radio) and asked him to elaborate. He told her that he had video footage of a woman having sex with numerous farm animals including a horse, a donkey, a pig and others. The woman asked the gentleman how he came about this footage and he replied "she's my girlfriend."

The gentleman apparently followed his girlfriend and caught her on tape because it was impossible for him to wrap his mind around the fact that the woman he's been with for numerous years was doing something like that. He showed the tapes to the Humane Society woman and she asked how this situation came about. That was when the gentleman told her he first became suspicious when he and his Jack Russell Terrier both had the same STD!

REALLY?!? Who in the world does that?!?!

WAY too much time!

What is wrong with people that they have THIS much time on their hands?? For the common good of the earth - maybe, however debatable, but really?? And THIS is what makes worldwide news??

Tue May 11, 6:19 am ET
SYDNEY (AFP) – An Australian physicist has uncovered an error in dictionary definitions that has likely stood uncorrected for a century.

University of Queensland academic Stephen Hughes found that entries for the word 'siphon' incorrectly said atmospheric pressure is the force that allows the device to move liquids from one place to another.

"It is gravity that moves the fluid in a siphon, with the water in the longer downward arm pulling the water up the shorter arm," he said.

"An extensive check of online and offline dictionaries did not reveal a single dictionary that correctly referred to gravity being the operative force in a siphon," he added.

Hughes, whose fields of study include astronomy, meteors, planets and the moon, said he first found the error in the Oxford English Dictionary last year.

He said a spokeswoman for the Oxford English Dictionary had told him he was the first person to question the definition of siphon, which dated from 1911 and had been written by editors who were not scientists.

But she said that his views would be taken into account as they updated the entire reference book which, according to the dictionary's website, is now up to the letter R.

"I thought, 'oh good, just in time', because S is next," Hughes said.

A siphon is a tube -- often u- or v-shaped -- that is used to move liquids from one container to another. It is commonly used to drain fish tanks or petrol tanks.

The Ex's new one...

Some of us are close to our exes, and some are closer than others. This one goes beyond close... There had been no communication in weeks, maybe months. Frankly it doesn't matter how long the relationship was (5 years) or how long they've been broken up (3 years) but this ex-couple has an interesting dilemma.

The ex-boyfriend calls up the ex-girlfriend to ask if the ex-girlfriend can get his new wife a job where the ex-girlfriend does some moonlighting. Who does this??!! No communication for quite some time and out of the blue, hey, my wife's hours got cut, can you help her out?? Really??

In the words of Peanuts - GOOD GRIEF!

Bad Date...

This will likely be a series of "bad date" stories, but had to share this one:

My friend calls me up in hysterics to tell me about the date she had. It had gone really well, and the guy seemed cool and he was nice and they were having such a good time that they decided to go back to her house to spend more time together. So to paint a picture, they're on her couch and they start kissing. He was apparently very into it because the next thing she knew he had his pants and boxers around his ankles and was taking care of himself right then and there! She freaked out told him to put it away and leave. They haven't spoken again since.

Um...can you blame her??!! WHO DOES THAT?!

Only in Alaska...

REALLY??!!??

Woman's gun stolen after leaving it in restroom
Tue May 4, 9:19 pm ET
JUNEAU, Alaska – A 24-year-old Juneau woman went into a public restroom packing heat and left burned. The Juneau Police Department reports Veronica Balle-Arnes was carrying a Ruger .380 — a small pocket pistol — worth about $400 with her Friday night.

She told police she took the gun out of her waistband and set it on top of a toilet paper dispenser in the women's room at the Fisherman's Wharf, a building on Juneau's downtown waterfront with a bar, eateries and shops.

She told police she forgot to pick it back up. When she realized it was missing a few moments later, she returned to the restroom but the gun was gone.

Taking a gun out with you on a Friday night... ok in Alaska apparently; drinking on a Friday night with your gun... not so smart; getting so drunk that you leave your gun in the bathroom stall... whole new level; remembering that you left your gun in the bathroom and having to report it to the police... priceless!

By the side of the road...?

While driving home this weekend I noticed on the off-ramp of the highway a liter bottle of Coke that was half full with what looked to be beer. Then I started thinking, why would anyone #1 put beer in an empty liter of Coke, and #2 why would they throw it out the window?

That was when I realized it wasn't beer... ewwwww!

Seriously, who would throw it out the window??

Lunch creepers

Today in the cafeteria at work, I was getting soup, which until today, I thought was a fairly innocent task!

These 3 older men, easily in their 60s, were walking into the cafeteria the same time that I was, and perused the selection, then came up right behind me and started talking:
"soup looks good today huh"
"I love the selection here"
"Perfect day to enjoy some soup"

Seriously? you guys are old enough to be my grandfathers!! and to pre-empt your question - NO I WILL NOT SIT ON YOUR LAP!

After lunch I thought I would need a shower... I still shudder at the thought, sick bastards...

Another drunk mis-dial

Lesson: 911 is not a taxi service
The Associated Press
Published: April 26, 2010

NEW HAVEN, Conn.—Police in New Haven said a 28-year-old woman who called 911 six times to request a ride home from a nightclub over the weekend instead got a ride to jail.

They said Quandria Bailey was released on $1,000 bail and has to go to court on May 5 to answer charges she misused the 911 system.

Officials said Bailey call 911 six times asking for a ride from a New Haven nightclub to her home in Meriden.

A telephone number for Bailey could not immediately be located Sunday, and it was unclear whether she had an attorney.

http://www2.turnto10.com/jar/news/local/article/lesson_911_is_not_a_taxi_service/35685/

This could not be made up.... it's too dumb....

By the side of the road?

So while driving down the highway this past Saturday afternoon (around 2pm for reference) there was a police car with flashing lights, and as I got closer, saw the trooper had an SUV pulled over. The funniest part was he was giving the lady a sobriety test!! And she fell down just as I was diving by!

It takes a special individual to get that drunk on a Saturday morning without a college football game to tailgate for...

Drunken Trouble

Another drunk idiot story... this is a stretch even when you're not in the right mind!! Out of all the people in the WORLD to call, what would make you choose the 911 operator to drunk dial - don't most people call their exes or friends?

Mich. police: Drunken driver called 911 on herself
Posted 3/27/2010 2:25 AM

EAST LANSING, Mich. (AP) — Police in Michigan have released a copy of a 911 call where a suspected drunken driver chats with an emergency dispatcher for about 20 minutes before she is pulled over and arrested.
In the first moments of the March 13 call, the dispatcher asks: "Are you intoxicated?" and the woman replies: "Absolutely." The dispatcher pleads with the woman to pull over and the driver tells the dispatcher she "shouldn't be driving."

The dispatcher helped officers find the driver in East Lansing.

Police say the 27-year-old Charlotte resident placed the call at 5:40 a.m. The woman was issued a citation for operating while intoxicated and faces up to 90 days in jail. Her name hasn't been released.

Police released the call Friday to The Associated Press under a Freedom of Information Act request.

Dumb drunken night...

While at dinner with a friend, she asks me if she told me about the time she lost her car; this is always a good start to a story, don't you think?

She tells me that she was out a few weeks ago for her friend's boyfriend's 30th birthday party at some bar, and she had a "few" drinks. After that she had to go meet some other people at another bar, so drove to the other bar but instead of parking, because she was only going to be in there for a minute, she left her car RUNNING - on one of the main streets - DOWNTOWN!!

Apparently one thing led to another and she ended up staying longer than she intended to at the bar, and had a few more drinks than she had planned, and in turn forgot where she parked her car... but she couldn't call anyone because she left her phone in her running car somewhere in the city, along with her pocketbook, which was sitting on the front seat in plain view, and let's not forget her work laptop that was in the back seat...

But the story gets better! While walking around and looking for her car, she encounters two very nice gentleman staying at one of the hotels in the area who take pity on her and invite her back to their room so she's not wandering the streets drunk and alone and say they will help her find her car in the morning... while the gesture was very nice, does anyone think this is a bright move?!

So in the morning, she calls her parents' house to have one of them come pick her up and they tell her "is there a reason that the police are here looking for you?" From what I understand, the police found her car early in the morning, found the registration and went to the house to find out what had happened to the driver of the car that had been left out running all night. The officers told her where she could find her car and there was another policeman there to ask her some questions.

When all was said and done, she had left her car running ALL night, came back 9-10 hours later, not only was her car still there, but her phone, pocketbook and laptop were all UNTOUCHED in her car when she finally got back to it... I'm sorry but there has to be an ARMY of angels looking out for you to come out of that one unscathed...

And again, I have to ask myself WHO DOES THAT??!!??

Eager much?

Ok... here is the short version, get this. Boy meets girl; boy asks girl out; boy blows girl off for first date with a lame excuse; boy continues to text girl but doesn't ask for another date; boy sends girl a text using her first name and HIS last name!!!

Whoa! Hold up here... are you kidding me? These two haven't even been out on a date yet! And he's giving her his last name?? Isn't that just a tad pre-mature??!!

Who does that?!?!

There are no words...

This is an actual article... normally I would put my thoughts, but honestly, there are no words... enjoy reading:

Florida Keys News - Key West Citizen

Friday, March 5, 2010
FHP: Driver lacked razor-sharp focus
BY ADAM LINHARDT Citizen Staff

As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."

If that weren't enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.

The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months' probation.

Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.

Schoff had slowed to about 5 mph to make a turn when the Thunderbird hit him, traveling about 45 mph, which was within the speed limit, Dunick said.

Barnes allegedly drove another half-mile, then switched seats with Judy, who allegedly claimed to be driving, Annunziato said.

"She jumps in the back seat and he moves over," Dunick said. "It was like the old comedy bit, 'Who's on first?' "

Burns on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy, he said.

Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.

Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.

"My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there's a funny side to this, but it's also deadly serious. This is a scary road and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this," Dunick said. "It is unbelievable. I'm really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys."

Police

http://www.projo.com/news/content/CRANSTON_POLICE_SEX_03-27-10_3CHTAUK_v24.3a578ad.html

Please take a moment to read the article first... then seriously?! give me a break! It seems to me that stupid people have infiltrated all aspects of our society! Not only are you dumb enough to cheat on your boyfriend with police officers, you choose ON-DUTY police officers and do them both at once, then want to claim yourself as a victim when the officer in question (now this is taken directly from the article) "said the conversation “immediately turned sexual.” " - really? after reading all the comments, most people like to take sides, however I believe in this case EVERYONE is to blame! Absolutely no person is in the right here - including the superiors of the officers who are still keeping them on payroll! Leave with pay is far from the same as "fired" - or have I been missing something??

And let's not forget the illustrious words of the officer who got caught...
"Neri does not believe that his actions should cost him his job.

At his Bill of Rights hearing, Chairman Raymond E. Gallucci Jr., a Warwick police officer, asked Neri whether he deserved to be fired.

“Absolutely not,” he said.

“Why not, sir?” Gallucci said.

“Because I’m not a bad person,” Neri said. “I used poor judgment. You know, I’ve been a good police officer for seven years. Nothing like this will ever happen again…. We should have never let this female get in a position to satisfy us or herself.”

They're blaming her?? Really?? I had no idea it was that hard to turn down sex! Silly me apparently...

But again I have to ask WHO DOES THIS?!?!

Have you ever been this drunk?

This brings so many questions to mind, I am honestly not quite sure where to begin... why was she intoxicated if she is breast feeding? how drunk was she to get arrested? what made her think this was a good idea? and last but certainly not least - who does this?!?!?

Woman charged in breast milk assault on jailer
Sun Mar 7, 1:04 pm ET

OWENSBORO, Ky. – A woman in jail for public intoxication was accused of assaulting a jailer by squirting breast milk at her. WYMT-TV reported that a 31-year-old woman was arrested Thursday on a misdemeanor charge of public intoxication. But as she was changing into an inmate uniform, she squirted breast milk into the face of a female deputy who was with her.

The woman now faces a felony charge of third degree assault on a police officer. Her bond was set at $10,000.

New Level of Lazy

Frankly, this is the epitome of lazy and I am terrified for the future after reading this because really??... honestly I know most of us have thought about doing it on cold or rainy days, but in actuality... who does this????

This article ACTUALLY appeared in USA TODAY:


Mar 02, 2010
Man fined for walking his dog while driving
11:34 AMYahoo! BuzzShare
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A young British man has lost his driver's license for walking his dog along a country road by holding the leash outside the car window while he drove.

Paul Railton, 23, of Annfield Plain in northeast England, had his license suspended for six months and was fined the equivalent of $100 for not being in proper control of a vehicle, the Northern Echo reports.

"He accepts it was a silly thing to do, borne out with an element of laziness," his lawyer told the magistrate.

Police caught the unemployed Railton walking his lurcher after being alerted by a cyclist.

Matchmaker

Last week I was at an event, well, more of a meeting than an event, but after the meeting everyone was socializing. One of the women, who mind you I had only spoken about 3 sentences to prior to the meeting, asked me if I was married. This by itself is a harmless enough question, so I answered "no" and thought she would leave it at that - but no! Endearingly so, she got very excited and told me that she had a guy that I HAD to meet! One of the other members of the group stepped in on my behalf and asked all the important questions (How old is he, what does he do, is he from a good family...) I appreciated the gesture very much, it was very nice and I was extremely flattered. That being said...

Then came the kicker... she asked how old I was. After I told her, she announced loudly enough so the entire room could hear her "oh good! you're still nice and fertile!" I will admit it has been a while since I've blushed that badly... but really, who says that?!?!

"Listening" Tom?

On my way into work this morning, there was an intriguing story on the radio that even though this didn't happen to me, I had to post because it was on the national news, so see no harm in posting it online.

Apparently, this guy was in a bowling alley, went into the ladies room, called his buddy, and put the phone up to a stall where a woman was doing her business. The woman saw him through the crack in the door and later recognized him outside the bowling alley and had him arrested.

The best part about the whole thing is that the guy said "my buddy and I just wanted to hear some hot girls doing their business"... REALLY?? And go figure that he was also charged with drunk and disorderly conduct...Honestly, which one is worse, the guy who called his buddy and got arrested, or the buddy for wanting the guy to call him?? Honestly, who does that?!?!?!?

Horrible Start to a Day

On my drive to work this morning, there was traffic - I know, shocker - but this morning was worse than normal. While I understand some people are not exactly patient, one truck in particular decided to drive in the breakdown lane because his exit was next. Living in New England for a while now, I've learned that this isn't really uncommon. HOWEVER this morning the driver picked the wrong day to do it because he found out first had what the traffic jam was...

Get this - a cop had pulled someone over for driving in the breakdown lane, and from what I could gather hit a puddle of water and skidded up and over the curb on the side of the highway (the car not the cop). The truck didn't see this dabocle because it was around a bend... until it was too late that is - the truck actually rear-ended the police car!!! And we are not talking about a gentle tap on the bumper, this was a fairly large pick-up truck that was going about 40 mph in the breakdown lane!

Needless to say the traffic jam didn't clear up much after that because of all the rubber-necking going on - I mean really, how often do you see a thing like that??

Engaged or Greedy?

In the age of the Internet and Face Book where apparently nothing is kept private, even those things that should be, it's so easy for me to get material for this blog. I have to say though that this one hit a new level of atrocious in my mind, but then again, that may be just me...

This entire conversation was posted over Face Book mind you, and not in private, posted on their walls! Two friends, one male and one female decided to get an apartment together. This in and of itself isn't a bad thing, but what they did was elude to everyone that they are engaged and mentioned that they were registered at Crate and Barrel.

Now, if they were engaged this would not be an issue... we would be happy for them, HOWEVER - they are NOT engaged and only registered at Crate and Barrel to get housewarming stuff so they wouldn't have to buy it themselves! I heard about this and was absolutely aghast!

And for reference... these are the same people who did the Bowl-A-Thon when the guy lost his job... Need I say more?

Not to mention that I find out today (this all went down yesterday) that some of their close friends called them out on it - including the guy's sister! How awesome is that!! And I quote "wait a minute... the confusion is VALID... engaged and couples register... not friends. A house warming is when two people invite people over..not neccessarily asking for a gift??!!. after purchasing a home together.. so confess u two?/0&*** are u or not???" to which the female replied "No confusion we're just kidding about registering!! And you should know better me Marry let alone Date him?!?" And after a couple other people voiced their disgust and relief on the matter, who would have the cahones to ask these people to help them move!!?!?? WHO DOES THAT??

Crazy-kins I

Since there will most likely be a string of "Crazy-kins" notes on this blog, I thought numbering them would be appropriate. This one happened a little before Christmas and is absolutely a true story. Like most of the stories on here, it is too crazy to make up!

"Anyway, one day a couple of weeks ago, Crazy-kins appeared to go crazy. We all knew it was about to happen, and it seemed like it finally had. The security guard appeared at his desk, Crazy-kins convinced him he had a ride home, then he walked around to numerous cubicles and announced he had just had a ‘panic attack’ of some sort. It was overheard when he was on the phone with his wife, that he had ‘lost it’… so a few days went by, I asked his boss what had happened. I wanted to know if he actually went crazy on someone, or just lost it to himself….

The answer: he ate a Whopper, got indigestion, panicked he was having a heart attack and worked himself into said frenzy… The kicker – he wound up taking 3 days off from work as “mental health days”."

Really? that is a whole new level... Who does that???